A couple of weeks ago, I celebrated my birthday in the best way I could imagine...by myself! It may sound funny, but this kind of time is in short supply these days. If you count the months I had two humans living inside of me 24/7, I have been accountable to someone every moment for three years. I was ready for a serious time out!
What I took for granted before having children was the ability to be spontaneous and not watch a clock. That's what I wanted during my time away (which amounted to 27 hours - not that I was watching a clock). I made no plans, other than booking an awesome hotel for the night. I just followed my mood - connecting with friends, exercising (yes, exercising), resting, reading, watching movies, and of course, staying in bed in the morning for as long as I wanted. I ordered so much food from room service that they asked me if this was all really for one person. It was heaven!
The highlight of my time was spending hours hiking near the ocean, listening to Dave Matthews. I listened to the same music many years ago, when I walked more frequently, and took more time to relax and reflect. I used to pop a CD into my Walkman (!) and just walk through my Ocean Beach neighborhood, dreaming about what I could create in this life. This music brought me back to a time before I was a parent of twins; actually, before Dave Matthews was the parent of twins too. I'm sure as he sang and I listened back in the late nineties, neither of us could have imagined the incredible twists and turns life would take.
I breathed in the ocean air, ran into the Pacific, and let myself just Be. It is only in this kind of space that my mind can really find peace. It takes something as powerful as the ocean to slow me down. During this time, I reminded myself that I was in fact living the dreams that I imagined as I walked years ago. I'm here. There is still a future to create, but this present is fantastic. I love my husband in ways I never knew possible, and I have two kids who are far more wonderful and rewarding than any I could have imagined.
I am grateful to Noah for giving me this time to get grounded again. I came back a calmer, more joyful, and appreciative person, wife and mother. And this was good, since Ethan had developed his highest fever ever while I was gone, and I was the only one to stay healthy over the next week as the rest of my family battled a nasty virus. Room service is great (really, really great), but I was so glad to be home and to be the "Mommy" that had the power to make everyone feel better with kisses and cuddles. Even the Pacific Ocean can't beat that.
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3 comments:
You certainly deserved it :)
I am so glad you enjoyed your very well deserved time out. It is such a cliche, but I honestly don't know how you did/are doing it with two. If one child was enough to make me gray-haired, I would think two would make me bald.
Above was Claire.
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