Over the Last Couple of Weeks...

I have nearly lost my mind. We are in a "phase," a "rough patch," a "low point." These are all nice ways of saying "ARRRRGGGGG!!!!!!"


I may have mentioned before that an amazing book was written about raising my boys. It is called Raising the Spirited Child, and it is my bible. This paragraph is of particular value to me - a life preserver in a stormy sea of unpredictable and unpleasant behavior:

Kids go through developmental surges. You can mark it on your
calendar. Somewhere around their birthday and their half-birthday, you can
expect trouble. They get cranky and uncooperative. They might be incapable
of doing what they were able to do just a few weeks before. Nothing seems
right. They're easily frustrated. Every time you turn around, they
are crying about something else. They won't cooperate. They want to
be held and then push you away when you hold them. They're angry - angry
at you, at the world, and at themselves. They are more easily
upset by anything.

Well, Happy Half-Birthday to all of us! You mean there is a biological reason for why Lucas tantrumed for twenty minutes because I accidentally handed him the blue cup instead of the green cup? It is not a sign of permanent insanity that Ethan screamed that his seat belt was too tight even when he was no longer in the car?

These are the days that make you question everything. What is wrong with my kid? What am I doing wrong? How does one perform an exorcism? The tantrums are overwhelming, Lucas is biting again, Ethan is crying when I leave the room again. The author says that these surges last four to six weeks (!!!) and that they come out of it with a new way of understanding the world. So come October, I expect improved behavior and a treatise on how to bring peace to the Middle East. I am owed that much.

Now that I have vented, I will say that these couple of weeks have not been without some awesome times. For the most part, the boys are angels when we are on outings and enjoying activities. We've had a ton of fun together between the meltdowns that happen at home. And the good times at home have been really good. The boys are best buddies now and come up with all sorts of fun games to play together, such as "I'll Dump the Toys Out of the Toy Box and You Take Them To the Farthest Reaches of the House So That Clean-up Time Takes an Hour." Heard of that one? Honestly, however, they could be plotting to rob a bank and I would be just so happy to see them getting along and working well together.

They've said some funny stuff lately too. Yesterday Ethan was having a particularly bad time, crying and screaming after his nap. He calmed down a little and then said to me "Maybe some ice cream will make me feel better." I couldn't disagree. "Let's go to Robin's house," he continued. "You mean Baskin-Robbins?" I asked. "Yes, Robbin's house where there is ice cream." I told him that maybe we could go after dinner, and that we would have to ask Daddy. So later when he heard Daddy coming up from the garage, he said, "First I'll say to Daddy 'How are you?' then I'll ask for ice cream." Apparently this developmental surge is teaching him how to work the system. Ethan has also become very fond of saying "I love myself," and more specifically offered "I love my armpits."


Lucas became interested in the planets the other day and because it is the cutest thing ever, I keep asking him to say "Earth." Because he says "r" like "w" and "th" like "f", I am now aware that we live on "P-yanet Owf." Tonight he grabbed a reference book of mine, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, sat and read it for a while and exclaimed "I like this book!" This is cute, but even more ironic, as he has been fighting naps during this developmental surge, and has been rather miserable as a result. We'll see tomorrow at naptime if any of what he read really sunk in.


So times are tough, but we're hanging in there, and still managing lots of laughs along the way.