Mih-Toh KeeYIP!

Okay, so I'm sure that didn't make any sense, but it's the way our boys pronounce the name of one of their good friends, Mr. Clip.

Who is Mr. Clip, you ask?

It's a nail clipper. Yep. A nail clipper with a persona that magically removes a toddler's fear of having his or her fingernails and toenails clipped.

"How can this be?", and "Teach me your secrets!", the other parents of toddlers ask.

"Did you know Noah is insane!?", and "How can I completely dissociate myself from him?", my friends ask.

Back to the story.

Most (if not all) kids are not big fans of getting their nails clipped, so parents have to come up with creative ways to make that happen. In our house, we have gone through many popular diversions, from "Hey look, a shiny train!" to "Your mother is going to hold your hands while I clip your nails and you loudly protest", but eventually, you have to get more creative.

So, one day, I noticed that a nail clipper looks like it's talking if you open and close it while you speak in a high-pitched voice. At least, to toddlers it does. So, with great enthusiasm, and remarkable inconsistency in vocal stylings, I reintroduce our good friend Mr. Clip, whose sole purpose on Planet Earth (that's "Pyanet Oaf" to Lucas) is to chompa-chompa-chompa out-of-control finger and toenails.

What used to be an incredible chore (trying to cut a little one's fingernails while they are crying and wildly swinging their hands) has become a deeply embarrassing but much more successful foray into role-playing, wherein Daddy assumes the bubbly, squeaky persona of Mih-Toh KeeYIP, and convinces the unsuspecting children in the vicinity that clipping your nails is FUN!

In fact, I've gotten so into it lately that I'm considering pitching it to the major networks. Mr. Clip just needs a sidekick, and I know I'll have a hit. I was thinking maybe the coffee grinder would be perfect, but Ethan is terrified of it.

If I could just find a way to humanize the coffee grinder...