More on Love

One of the best things about four-year olds is that they are working to really understand love.  They are secure in Mama-love, Daddy-love, and sibling-love, and now they are trying to figure out how love fits in to the rest of their world.

Ethan is all about marriage.  Somehow he equates love with marriage, although he understands it is something he is going to do when he is grown up.  He has asked me several times to marry him, and when I explain that mommies and sons don’t get married, but have a special kind of love that lasts forever, he is less than convinced.  So he has been searching for love elsewhere too.  He has expressed a desire to marry our dog Lucy, and was similarly disappointed to learn this wasn’t going to work out either.  He soon set his sights on the one person he’s always had a flirty kind of connection with – his friend Sarah.  At our Fall Party a few weeks ago, he turned to her as Randi Driscoll was singing a love song, gave her a big kiss on the lips, and proposed.  To his delight, Sarah was happy to accept.  Since then, the two have talked extensively about their future commitment and are always holding hands and hugging when together.

Lucas has his own way of exploring the concept of love, usually in the role of a caretaker or parent.  He can often be found playing “friends,” as he calls it.  This involves him selecting a group of his stuffed animals, dinosaurs or plastic bugs and caring for them in various ways.  He will make them homes, give them baths, feed them meals and take them on outings.  “Treat bag,” for example, went camping with us and quickly became our group’s mascot.

I have come upon him numerous times talking to his “friends,” telling them how much he loves them and how much he loves playing with them.  He is very responsible with his friends, although they are sometimes seen catapulting across the living room, apparently at their request.  For the most part, however, he lovingly cares for these friends, who call him “daddy,” and me “grandma.”  Not so sure I’m ready for that!