Soft on Crime

The boys and I made up a very fun game this afternoon.  Lucas declared himself Spiderman and Ethan took on the role of The Incredible Hulk.  After running around simply yelling their new names, Ethan stopped and asked, “What does the Hulk do?”  I told him that the Hulk was known for breaking through walls.  When met with a look of confusion, I offered that he only did this when he was chasing after bad guys – people who did bad things – in order to bring them to jail.    This was our first foray into the epic battle between Good and Evil. 

When we established Spiderman’s special skills and similar commitment to justice, it was decided by the boys that I was to play the role of said “bad guy,” while they hunted me down and brought me to jail.  Fine.  However, I was dying to know what kind of transgressions they believed would land one in jail.  So I asked what the bad guy was going to be doing that was so bad.  Ethan thought for a moment and said “Throwing books.”  A serious crime in the world of a two year old.

So the drama began.  The boys hid out in their room while I pretended to partake in the evil throwing of books down the hall.  When they caught wind of my dastardly deed, they came running to capture me.  As a villain, there is nothing more threatening than two little people with huge grins on their faces (one naked from the waist down) approaching you while giggling.  I was apprehended and told I was going to jail.  I feigned resistance, which made them laugh all the harder.  When faced with the jail (their closet), I begged for mercy.  Apparently this struck a cord with Ethan.  This was all good fun, but he didn’t want the bad guy to be sad.  He grabbed pillows, blankets and stuffed toys and threw them into the closet.  He took me by the hand, and in the sweetest voice told me that jail was a nice place.  “See…there are nice things here.  I like jail.  You will like jail.  Come on.”  So I stepped inside the minimum security lock-up, and lived it up Martha Stewart-style inside.

We replayed this MANY times, and each time Ethan was more and more sympathetic and gentle with me.  He was so sweet to me that I considered reforming.  He just might be on to something here.